by Kim Woodward
Living in rural California and driving a lot, I continue to do a lot of my training on the road. This past month I was driving daily from our home to the barn where we keep our horses about 15 miles away. The route is a quiet two lane country road with very little traffic.
I noticed when driving out in the morning that I didn’t even identify myself as “car”. I was just driving. Then, when a car would appear in front of me or turn onto the road from a side road or driveway I would judge the driver in front of me. “He’s driving too slowly! Come on, come on, don’t take all day.” Or, if the car pulled away from me, “She’s driving too fast! Where does she think she’s going so fast! It occurred to me that I never met drivers that really drive “right”, i.e. the same speed as I do. (Of course, if there are such drivers, I never would meet them because I wouldn’t overtake them or they overtake me.) So, having noticed this judging in my mind, I started trying to eliminate it. Very difficult! As long as I saw them as “other car” I judged, no matter how much I tried not to. I was able to modify my actions. I didn’t tailgate, or race to catch up, but the judgement was still there.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, I was just driving… not fast, not slow… just driving. A car turned out in front of me that was going more slowly and I began to overtake it. And, another car appeared in my rear view mirror overtaking me. Suddenly I saw myself from the other drivers’ point of view. Sometimes I am the fast car. Sometimes I am the slow car. When I could see their judgements of me I found myself able to genuinely let go of judgements. I could go back to just driving.
Kim Woodward